Egad, I haven’t done one of these in seven months! I’ve missed it! For those new to this, fellow writers post eight sentences from one of our works. I’ve been revising my New Adult steampunk romance, STEAM ME UP RAWLEY, so I thought I’d just start with the first eight sentences.
Early May, 1890, Mobile, Alabama Second Age of Pax Lincolnia “Put that down, Loki.” Adele darted a glance around the outdoor party at Chastang House and replaced the doily on the lawn table, only a tad wrinkled from her monkey’s fist. She smoothed it out. If she could just get through this affair without her normally well-behaved monkey pulling a stunt, she’d appreciate it, thank you very much. “You need to—” “Talking to your monkey, Adele?” asked a feminine voice behind her. “How quaint.”
To join in the fun and see the other wonderful writers, go to Weekend Writing Warriors! Thanks for stopping by!
That Loki is a pistol! It’s good to see you again, Angela! 🙂
The feminine voice behind her? Sounds like you’re introducing someone the reader will love to hate 🙂
Good 8! 🙂
yea! You’re back. I stopped posting here a while back due to revisions (ok ok due to rewrite and rethink whole concept) Glad to see you and wondering who the woman is
Welcome back! This one left me with about a hundred questions that need answers. Great job! LOL
Glad to see you back! Enjoyed the snippet, so much fun…
I love that last bit! Great 8!
Agree with the comments above – Loki sounds as if he will be fun and the “feminine voice” sounds like some as said above ‘the reader will love to hate’. Thanks for posting
Good to see your snippets again, Angela! Loki is so much fun.
Hey Angela 🙂 Am very curious what kind of changes you’ve made to this. This excerpt makes a great hook I think. Lots of questions, the good kind!
Thanks! One of the biggest changes is this new opening scene before the original one. Instead of starting too early in the story, I’d started too late…
Great start!! I tweeted.
Glad to see you back. And Loki, of course.
Oh, Loki. I’ve missed you. Please share again next week. 🙂
Welcome back, Angela. Everybody needs a Loki, Lol. Nice snip!
Any time someone says, “How quaint,” I hear the High Noon whistle in my head— anachronistic, maybe, but usually accurate!
?? I don’t get the reference…
Have you ever seen a western showdown in one of those old movies, like “High Noon”? There’s a sort of special warbling note that signals that the shootout is imminent and unavoidable . . .
Really, I just meant, “Uh, oh! Duck!” 🙂
Whoa! What a way to end a snippet! Wonder who’s the woman asking her that? Nice to see you sharing snippets, Angela
Oh the uniqueness of having a monkey and the answering disdain. Nicely done in so few lines, Angela. 🙂
I already love the fact that there’s a pet monkey. Glad to see you’re participating again.
A sure way of pulling this reader in. I first thought the monkey referred to herself, but no, the monkey is for real. Very interesting. The woman talking behind her is a mystery at this point. Good cliff hanger.
This sounds like it’s going to be fun.
Nice to meet you…I am loving the start of this story : )