After much gnashing of teeth and hair pulling and Funyun consumption, I finally strapped myself down in a chair and got some emotions out people. Lord, was that hard.
As I blogged yesterday in Struggling with Revising the End, this was hard for me. I was resistant. It was like someone was trying to force vegetables down my throat.
I typed in some changes here and there over the weekend and yesterday moved a whole chunk around, but then I realized what I needed to do. Print the dang thing out. Sometimes I just can’t revise on a computer. So I took the printout to the little sunroom off my library and with paper and pen scribbled away. This accomplished something else: it kept me away from compulsively checking Twitter, etc.
Finished and had a long talk with my mom after, who’d read Why I’m Happy My Mom Hates the Ending… and felt reaaaaalllly bad and I told her NO, I want honest feedback. I have to have someone I can trust for that! Anyway, typed in my revisions and with the thankful help of my awesome critique partner Susan at critiquecircle.com I finally got it wrangled into shape. I sent her my new revision and thankfully she said nope, still not there, keep pushing, dig deep. So back I went, etc. until she gave me a big smiley face. Whew! Oh, and I got a “good job babe!!!!!” from my mom (who, thankfully, is a Tough Cookie and not your typical ‘good job, dear’ kind of Mom). Double whew!
This back and forth led my critique partner Susan to message me this morning wondering if we’d ever be able to learn to push ourselves, because we’ve both been good at pushing the other. I don’t know the answer, but I honestly hope I’m never at that point. I want to be pushed. I think there’s a danger in not allowing others to push you. What do you think? Do you have a pusher?