Six Sentence Sunday – 4/8/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively titled MUST LOVE BREECHES, which is now out in query land! (You can see the other entries here.)

I am currently looking for Beta readers. If you’re interested, let me know. I’ve stopped querying to see how this batch takes and so this new round of Beta reading will be to help me tighten up what problems will have come to light.

Here’s my pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies. 

Continuing with the party at Charles Babbage‘s, we’re skipping ahead a page and everyone is staring at the Silver Lady, his dancing automaton:

“I rescued this fair lady from the sale at Weeks Museum only this year,” continued Babbage. “I show this to you not only as a marvel of man’s ingenuity, but as a lesson in the decline of Britain’s industrial spirit. This wonder, ladies and gentlemen, was created by that genius John Merlin at the end of the last century, and what advances in this sphere have we made since? I ask you, what if Mr. Merlin had been supported financially? Would we today have automata in place of butlers, serving us our drinks?” A chorus of chuckles came from the obliging crowd.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Easter/Passover!

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53 Comments

  1. I like it. Babbage has a unique voice in this that sounds authentic given what I know about him. Good six!

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  2. Very creative & imaginative.

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  3. This has a totally surreal feel to it, esp given it’s from the POV of someone from ‘modern’ times. :) Well done!

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  4. Ha! This guy could sell anything! Good six. :-)

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  5. You must have had a ton of fun writing this. Nice six :)

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  6. Very nice…you bring a touch of philosphy and history – makes it a perfect blend. Good stuff!

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  7. indylinda

     /  April 8, 2012

    I love how different this story is. Great six!

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  8. Great six, love the whole concept of this story.

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  9. This is very intriguing. I know nothing of Babbage, and now you’ve got me looking him up. Great six.

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  10. Oh, he sounds so sophisticated and aristocratic. Love it! Awesome six!

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  11. I just love this scene with the Silver Lady! You show very well how Babbage was a pioneer in his creations and his thoughts. Technology certainly has advanced since then! Great six, Angela!

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  12. I love the “feel” of this. The flow of the language is beautiful and thoroughly immerses me in the scene. Lovely six!

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  13. As always, I love your work!

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  14. This is so great. :) I love how every “modern” era feels like they have all the answers. LOL Oh, and I get nervous every time I read that your book is “tentatively” titled — I love that title. It can’t be anything else now!

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    • Thanks! And I think you’re right about the title. It’s gotten such a great response and seems to capture the tone… Some don’t like it, but most do…

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  15. I love his voice here. He sounds like I image he would’ve in real life. Awesome!

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  16. Great six! I very forward thinking man for a very modern heroine!

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  17. I enjoyed your snippet…he sounds like an interesting man.

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  18. Oh boy, what an interesting supposition about Merlin and butlers. Can’t help but wonder along with your characters. Nice six! Happy Easter Sunday to you. :)

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    • I’m taking some liberty with his supposing this, but he did buy this automaton from Merlin, loved it, and did lament about not getting enough funding… apparently the inventor in Dickens’ Little Dorritt was based on Babbage!

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  19. Skye Warren

     /  April 8, 2012

    Haha, cute. Nice weaving of history :)

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  20. Nice characterization in those few short lines. Another great six, Angela!

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  21. Another amazing six, Angela! Excellent:-)

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  22. I love it when history, reality is combined with fiction great characters and imagination. Yes, no butlers indeed, unimaginable

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  23. I love how everyone laughs at Babbage for his imagination over automated butlers. And yet, we still imagine having those around today. Well done!

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  24. Nerd love beaming your way from this reader! Six lines that make me want more, because you’ve sucked me into the story. Bonus points for a personal enlightenment moment: I have a serious kink for period detail, especially arcane gadgetry.

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    • LOL! Love me some nerd love! thanks! It was so weird to find out the inventor’s name really was Merlin, LOL.

      It’s funny, I was so afraid to do last week’s and this week’s on Babbage, because it wasn’t focused on the H/h and was afraid folks would find it boring, but am digging the responses…

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  25. Inspired me to google “silver lady automaton,” and picked up a piece actually written by Babbage. You’ve really done your homework. You say you need a beta reader?

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  26. I am really enjoying this story, wish I was in your heroine’s place, so fun! I hope the book finds just the right publisher *SOON* – best wishes. Enjoyed the excerpt (can you tell? LOL!)

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  27. You must have really enjoyed your research for this! It definitely shows. Love the blending of historic realism with the fiction. Well played, lady! (Not to mention that you’ve got me interested in Babbage, too. LOL)

    Also, I agree with @Donna Cummings. LOVE this title! I definitely think it’s a keeper. :D

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  28. Jo-Ann Carson

     /  April 8, 2012

    Angela
    I like how you create atmosphere. I feel like I’m there. Great six.

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  29. So interesting! Wonder how the woman’s doing in London in those times.

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  30. I agree with the earlier comment about this being surreal. I think that’s because it’s really a fantastic setting, but the writing and characterization is so strong, it seems real. I love this snippet.

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  31. D'Ann Lindun

     /  April 8, 2012

    Good job! I want to see what happens.

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  32. Great read-aloud snippet, his voice is awesome!

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  33. Jessica Subject

     /  April 8, 2012

    I can picture, and hear this scene perfectly. Well done! :)

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  34. Monica Enderle Pierce

     /  April 8, 2012

    I love how you’ve blended fiction and history. Makes me want to hit Google and Wikipedia then go back and reread. Fantastic!

    (And I didn’t get a chance to thank you for commenting on my six last week, and this week, too. I value your feedback and encouragement, Angela. Thank you.)

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  35. The first thing I thought of was a Roomba carrying a tumbler of scotch. :)

    Great six!

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  36. I love time travel. Wish I had a silver lady.

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  37. Nice six! And the Silver Lady link was interesting. Thanks!

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  38. It’s wonderful how you’ve incorporated your research into giving him a distinctive voice. Great six!

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  39. Love the ring of authenticity in all this without sacrificing the fantastical elements. Well done!

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  40. I love the combination of history and fiction. Perhaps someday I’ll go back and try again to write 19th century historical, since there are so many great possibilities.

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  41. I love stories that blend fiction and history. It brings them to life for me. Well written :)

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  42. Jennifer Lowery

     /  April 8, 2012

    You have such a fun, light voice! Great six!

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  43. Ooh, this makes me even more intrigued by the story. Great six! :-)

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  44. siobhanmuir

     /  April 8, 2012

    Your story is particularly intriguing because of the tale you’re weaving within historical objects and events. Nicely done, Angela. :)

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  45. Lovely blending of historical fact into fiction. I love those automatons

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  46. Nicely indignant tone in his voice. He really feels for the silver lady, for the neglect of this area of invention. That comes across very strongly. Well done.

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  47. Man, I wish I’d been at this party! (This made me think of the ride inside the giant sphere at Epcot, LOL. And that’s a compliment. *grin*)

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  48. I just time traveled there :) thanks for the authentic trip. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, so I’ll say it now- love the title.

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