Six Sentence Sunday – 8/19/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. 

Today’s Six Sunday is picking up where we left off last week with STEAM ME UP, RAWLEY, my steampunk romance set in Mobile, AL. Loki returns Rawley’s cravat that had flown away when Rawley landed in his hot air balloon, leaving him indecently clothed and giving the heroine her first peek at a man’s collarbone. Loki is a monkey and he’s wearing oyster shell armor, and Rawley asked if Loki was wearing oyster shells. This picks up with the heroine answering:

“Indeed, sir, it’s his armor and most prized possession.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Intriguing.” He stood and wrapped the cravat around his neck several times and knotted it with an indifferent style. Now he was decently clothed. Drat.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! 

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43 Comments

  1. Jessica Subject

     /  August 19, 2012

    A cute six! :)

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  2. Damn, I hate it when they get dressed! Great 6!

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  3. Drat, indeed! Oh well — I’m sure the cravat can come off again. :)

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  4. Love this! That simple word, “Drat,” says so much about her character.

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  5. I’m enjoying the voice and tone of this piece.

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  6. I agree with the other commentors. The fun tone comes through with just a few words. Great six as usual!

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  7. I expect now that she can’t see part of him, she’ll be thinking about it and maybe about how to more of his clothes off :) I like her personality.

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  8. Her disappointment is so entertaining!

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  9. Donna stole my response: Drat, indeed! Hopefully she’ll get to see his collarbone and much more later!

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  10. Love this six, especially that final “Drat.” I’d be tempted to move that to the next line for extra emphasis.

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  11. Such a fun six, Angela! I am so enjoying this one! :)

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  12. Indifferent style, interesting, he’s captivated by his present company. Love the drat, it puts her feelings on full show.

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  13. Very cute six! I love what it reveals about their characters.

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  14. LOL! Love the “drat.”

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  15. I personally adore a good collarbone on a man . . . :)

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  16. Hehe. Love the last line. Great six!

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  17. I find it interesting that Rawley ties his cravat in an “indifferent style.” Love that little character note. And the fact that she noticed the style (or lack thereof) but is more interested in what it covered up. Fun six!

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  18. :lol: I love her last mental comment! Drat indeed!

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  19. Great six…that last word says so much!

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  20. Hahaha, I love this dialogue! P.S. Just to make you jealous, thought I’d let you know the fam and I are attending Star Wars Celebration VI in Orlando this coming weekend . . . I’ll be sure to blog about it:-)

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  21. Love that last word! It made me laugh.

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  22. I agree. Loved the last word. Very cute six.

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  23. So none of that nonsense about a “Mathematical” or “Waterfall” tie for him. I LIKE Rawley. Am still a bit wary of Loki though. That name+monkey can’t bode well.

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  24. I too loved the last word, too, but I’m still trying to picture Loki’s oyster shell armor.

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  25. Great job and a very funny and cute punch line at the end!

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  26. Carrie Crain

     /  August 19, 2012

    Such cuteness and lightheartedness. Cute, cute!!

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  27. Drat indeed, indifferent style or not

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  28. So her first peek at man’s “collarbone”?? Er, you really did mean collarbone! Lol Awesome six, Angela! I love these characters and the voice here. Nicely done!

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  29. Love the way her mind words… “Drat!” Your heroine comes across as spunky, which I like!

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  30. Love the last line…I take it he doesn’t like to be fully clothed? Fun six Angela!

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  31. J.M. Blackman

     /  August 19, 2012

    I like that his style was indifferent; it’s nice to see how much attention she pays to his movements. Like the details and love their dialogue.

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  32. Dang it! LOL Loved it!

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  33. “Drat.” Love it, Angela! That Loki–what a catalyst ;-)

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  34. Oh, phooey, no more glimpses of bare neck and the v portion of his chest. Loved the ‘drat’.

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  35. We can only hope he becomes indecently um clothed again at some point LOL! Really enjoying this story from all aspects, terrific six!

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  36. Wouldn’t you say “in an indifferent style” if you are referring to the style of the tie? I read “with an indifferent style” as how he goes about tying it, much like saying “with indifference”. Not an expert so take this with a grain of salt.
    Not what I typically read, but the lines made me curious as to what happened next especially ending it in “drat”.

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  37. Its such a tight six, and the simple Drat ties it up perfectly. I’ve never written steampunk, but I’m so intrigued by it, I’ll definitely want to read more.

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  38. This is a most intriguing scene – I love it!

    Reply

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