Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I know some of you wanted to see what happened next in BEER AND GROPING IN LAS VEGAS, but I’ve had to take a step back from that this past week, so instead, I’m sharing the first 6 sentences of my new novel, STEAM ME UP, RAWLEY. I finished the rough draft only 2 weeks ago, so this is pretty rough. It’ll probably get revised a ton, but this will give you a rough idea.
This is a steampunk romance set in 1890 Mobile, Alabama, and a loose sequel to MUST LOVE BREECHES. The female protagonist is a reporter.
Adele de la Pointe screeched to a stop on her Davenport Horizon Electric Cell Tricycle, or Miss Smarty Pants for short. She grabbed Loki, her armored pet monkey, and pulled him up to her shoulders; better to navigate the bowels of The Mobile Register.
“Nchht niiik chtniii.”
“I know, Loki, I know.”
She reached up and ruffled the fur under his chin. Loki nuzzled her cheek, the chinstrap securing his oyster-shell helmet chaffing her ear.
As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!
To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.
Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! UPDATE: Our power has been out since this morning from the Gulf Coast Deluge so I may be late getting to visit y’all!
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Jess Schira
/ June 10, 2012Just six sentences and I’m already in love with Loki
Great job Angela.
Lisa Fox
/ June 10, 2012Loki sounds too cute!
Donna Cummings
/ June 10, 2012This sounds fun! Ya gotta love anything that’s named Miss Smarty Pants! LOL
MeLeesa Swann
/ June 10, 2012Loving the monkey! Can’t wait to find out more!
S. J. Maylee
/ June 10, 2012a loose sequel, awesome. Not sure what I liked more the armored pet monkey, his cute speech or that he has a oyster-shell helmet.
Mae Clair
/ June 10, 2012That defnitely plunked me into the scene. Love her name, love the Electric Cell Tricycle, love the idea of an armored pet monkey. A winning opening!
Silver James
/ June 10, 2012Angela, you do a terrific job of setting, action, and personality in wonderfully succinct sentences. Well done! I’m looking forward to more of this one, even if it’s rough.(Though it doesn’t read that rough to me!)
Dee Carney
/ June 10, 2012Who doesn’t love a monkey? lol. Nice six!
Tonya Burrows
/ June 10, 2012I want an armored pet monkey!
Teresa Cypher
/ June 10, 2012Nice–quirky… Loki–love the name choice. Ad Miss Smarty Pants! I love your imagination, Angela! Good luck shopping “Must Love Breeches”.
Lea
/ June 10, 2012I’m with everyone else. Love the monkey! Oh I wanted to congratulate you on the request through Entangled via the open pitch the other week. Love steampunk and the armored pet monkey is priceless.
Carrie-Anne
/ June 10, 2012I also love Loki! The Electric Cell Tricycle also sounds very interesting.
Kate Meader (@KittyMeader)
/ June 10, 2012So Loki’s your hero, right? I jest, I jest. With that name and the fact he’s a, well, monkey, I’m seeing mischief in your story’s future. Great opening six!
K.E. Saxon
/ June 10, 2012LOL! I love that monkey and “miss smarty pants”, the electric trike. What a great six, Angela! This looks to be another super read.
Sue
/ June 10, 2012Well your new character, who certainly sounds like a unique personality, would not fit in with the “ton” from Breeches. She is definately too much fun
Candice Bundy
/ June 10, 2012Gotta love a monkey named Loki! How can that every go wrong for a reporter? She’s got a great flair!
Monica Enderle Pierce
/ June 10, 2012I love that she rides not a bicycle, but a *tricycle*! Loads of character built into your details in this. (And I had no idea that you speak Monkey, too. Eeeka eeka, oowhaww uk-uk-uk.)
Kate Warren
/ June 10, 2012Well now I HAVE to know what it is that Loki said! Just six sentences and I’m in. Well done.
J. M. Blackman
/ June 10, 2012Whoa, Angela, this is FANTASTIC! I love the premise, love the details…it’s wonderful! Can’t wait to see more.
veronicascott
/ June 10, 2012I could certainly visualize the scene and the monkey – very well done six. Will be interesting to read more!
ellaquinnauthor
/ June 10, 2012That’s very cute.
Jessica Subject
/ June 10, 2012Nice description and world building in this six!
sueannbowlingauthor
/ June 10, 2012Wonderful start–but I goggle at trying to link it to what you’ve shown us of Must Love Breeches!
Owllady/Marcia
/ June 10, 2012Hey Angela. I love that you’re using a monkey instead of a more expected pet. And yeah, that tricycle description is great too.
Frank Fisher
/ June 10, 2012This is good for a draft, and don’t worry about the revisions you may face…part of the whole writing process. Love how the tricycle is nicknamed Miss Smarty Pants – very creative and adds humor!
Elin Gregory
/ June 10, 2012LOL, terrific stuff but am I the only one who finds monkeys incredibly creepy and sinister? And talking monkeys in armour – OMG that’s scary! You heroine seems to me to be completely formidable.
Sarah W
/ June 10, 2012Okay, even if i wasn’t a huge Avengers geek, I’d love the monkey.
So . . .Miss Smarty Pants is a batty-powered Big Wheel? Cool!
Ginger Simpson
/ June 10, 2012You have the most amazing imagination that comes through in your stories. Love it.
Amy Durham
/ June 10, 2012Such creativity! Love Loki!
Buffy Armstrong
/ June 10, 2012Love the armored pet monkey. Can’t wait to hear more about Loki and Adele
Writerlious
/ June 11, 2012What a voice you have! And wit, to boot! I adore that the bike is named Miss Smarty Pants. Adore!
Joyce Scarbrough
/ June 12, 2012Wow, so much to spark curiosity in this short snippet! Great job!
Ryan Derham
/ June 12, 2012I gotta know more about this period, the electric tricycle and…oh, yeah, Loki! Lol Great six, Angela! (Hope the storm didn’t damage.)
siobhanmuir
/ June 12, 2012Great six, Angela. You really captured the essence of the genre and the period. Nicely done.
Lorraine Paton
/ June 20, 2012What a fabulous image! Love it – and I love Loki! Great six!