Six Sentence Sunday – 4/29/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP titled MUST LOVE BREECHES, which is now out in query land! (You can see the other entries here.)

I am currently looking for Beta readers. If you’re interested, let me know. I’ve stopped querying to see how this batch takes and so this new round of Beta reading will be to help me tighten up what problems will have come to light.

Here’s my pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies. 

This is the midpoint of the novel, right after she’s caught him sneaking around in a room at a ball. Oh, and she’s on top of him on the floor because she’d been surprised by him and tackled him to the floor before she realized who it was. Picking up exactly where we left off last week (this is in his POV):

He detected in her eyes, hiding behind her spectacles, the moment she also became conscious of their position, their dangerous position. On the verge of suggesting she arise, he saw the dratted door knob turn again.

Without further thought he grabbed the back of her head and brought his lips to hers. Luckily, they lay at such an angle, and the room lit by only a single candle, that he was rather certain their identities were safe from discovery. She responded to his kiss immediately, opening her mouth in invitation. Desire pounded through him at this surprising response.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! 

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76 Responses to Six Sentence Sunday – 4/29/12

  1. Catherine Johnson April 29, 2012 at 7:03 am #

    Love the excerpt! I have a friend writing a middle grade time travel based in Paris. I wonder if you’d like to beta read each others. I’ll suggest it if you like.

  2. Stephanie April 29, 2012 at 7:17 am #

    Oh, those modern girls are so easy 😉 I love that he appreciates her response and isn’t offended by her lack of “proper” restraint.

  3. Jessica Subject April 29, 2012 at 7:46 am #

    The kiss may have been to save themselves trouble, but I think it turned into something much more. Nice six! :)

  4. Donna Cummings April 29, 2012 at 7:51 am #

    I like that he’s making good use of this opportunity! Hope the door doesn’t open too soon — we need some more snippets first. :)

  5. Kate April 29, 2012 at 8:01 am #

    I love this scene! Great choice of six, Angela!

  6. gayleramage April 29, 2012 at 8:11 am #

    Ooh, very sexy! I wonder who’s walked in and caught them!

  7. A.S. Fenichel April 29, 2012 at 8:15 am #

    Angela, this is fantastic. I’m right there with them and I want more. I’m really excited about this book. Great job!

    • Angela Quarles April 29, 2012 at 8:18 am #

      Thanks! Now if I could just get an agent excited, lol! :)

  8. Lisa Fox April 29, 2012 at 8:31 am #

    That was some quick thinking on his part. And it seems like it worked out well for him!

  9. L.J. Kentowski April 29, 2012 at 8:41 am #

    Sexy Six! I love it! I love his surprise at her reaction. Something simple has turned into so much more than he expected?! Great six!

  10. Gem April 29, 2012 at 8:47 am #

    Good luck with your queries. I think this is an awesome story!

  11. Wendy S. Russo April 29, 2012 at 8:55 am #

    A lot of instinct in this six. Good luck with the betas and queries!

  12. Owllady/Marcia April 29, 2012 at 8:56 am #

    Hi Angela! I like how you’ve set up the kiss–it’s better than the tired old she trips, he catches her, they fall and kiss. I do wonder who’s about to find them. :) ~Marcia/Owllady

  13. Joanne Stewart April 29, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    Oh, I’m dying to read on. Fantastic six!

  14. Cara Bristol April 29, 2012 at 9:01 am #

    Nice. So restrained, but sensual.

  15. melinda dozier April 29, 2012 at 9:13 am #

    Love that they are “forced” to kiss! Great six!

  16. Lila Shaw April 29, 2012 at 9:21 am #

    I hope the low lighting and kiss to hide their identities doesn’t backfire on them…he / they might have just made it worse for themselves, even more fun for the reader! :)

  17. movingforeword April 29, 2012 at 9:29 am #

    Can’t wait to read more! Really enjoyed this six!!!

  18. Carly Fall April 29, 2012 at 9:36 am #

    Nice six, Angela. Good luck with your queries! I’m not participating this week, but wanted to stop by and check out your SSS. Enjoy your Sunday!

  19. Patricia Preston April 29, 2012 at 9:45 am #

    Exciting six!! Good luck from one Southern gal to another.

  20. Linda Morris (@LMorrisWriter) April 29, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    No wonder she tackled him. I’m loving me some Phineas. Good six!

  21. Kate Meader (@KittyMeader) April 29, 2012 at 9:57 am #

    Yes, he’s definitely found the right girl for him!

  22. Elin Gregory April 29, 2012 at 10:15 am #

    Excellent set up for all kinds of misunderstandings arising from the temporal culture clash. Super six.

  23. Corinne Davies April 29, 2012 at 10:19 am #

    I can’t wait to see what happens next :) Great six!

  24. veronicascott April 29, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    Quick thinking on his part, nice way to “save” her reputation for the moment! Great six…

  25. K.E. Saxon April 29, 2012 at 10:49 am #

    So good! At first, I thought: Why would he kiss her when the door knob was turning? Wouldn’t it “ruin” her. But then, as I read on, I realized he was actually trying to protect her reputation. Excellent! I love this story, Angela. You have absolutely GOT to publish this.

    • Angela Quarles April 29, 2012 at 10:53 am #

      Thanks!! Here’s hoping an agent feels the same way :)

  26. Jess Schira April 29, 2012 at 11:07 am #

    I really liked your second paragraph, but something about the first paragraph just didn’t feel right to me. The words felt kind of rough and disjointed. Just a thought.

  27. Silver James April 29, 2012 at 11:08 am #

    Angela, I wish I had the time to beta read this for you. I love your heroine and the whole premise of this boook. I can only imagine his surprise at her reaction to him. 😆

  28. Sue April 29, 2012 at 11:13 am #

    didn’t realise she wore spectacles, no contact lenses baack then. I wonder if the first sentence ia a bit clunky? I have too much clunk in my last scene so maybe I’m imagining yours. Otherwise great scent. though as someone said, these modern girls are so forward lol

  29. Cate Masters April 29, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    Love his way of hiding their identities! And her reaction.
    The first paragraph tripped me up a bit. Maybe lose the “hiding” to quicken the pace? Just a thought. :)

  30. S. J. Maylee April 29, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Yeah!! I’m jumping up and down here. Can you see? oh and I’m clapping and grinning too<—your 6 made me feel this way, ty :) Love when an unexpected kiss gets unexpected results, such fun

  31. Jo-Ann Carson April 29, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    I can feel the heat. Great six.

  32. Candice Bundy April 29, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

    Fabulous six Angela! It’s wonderful how he’s shocked by her willingness, which in her time isn’t such a big deal. Perspective is everything! :)

  33. Paula Martin April 29, 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    LOL, he’s a real opportunist!

  34. Sarah W April 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm #

    I wish this was six to twenty-three sentence Sunday, because the rest of this scene was just as amazing, Angela!

    • Angela Quarles April 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm #

      aaw thanks! It’ll give me several Sundays to populate with snippets though until I have a new story to share :)

    • Teresa Cypher April 29, 2012 at 12:58 pm #

      I agree, Sarah. The toughest part of SSS is wanting to read more. Six is such a teaser. :-)

  35. Ryan Derham April 29, 2012 at 12:48 pm #

    Great scene, Angela. I like that their response to the awkward situation was surprising and well, sexy! Great six!

  36. Melynda Price April 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    Great six! The kiss is fantastic and his surprise to her reaction hooked me :) Can’t wait to keep reading!

  37. sueannbowlingauthor April 29, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    I gather there’s nothing distinctive about their dress?

    • Angela Quarles April 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

      It’s literally pitch black in this room except for that tiny candle, so nope, nothing the person would see. Besides, as you’ll see, the door is only opened for a split second– only enough for the person to realize the room was ‘taken’ and quickly shutting it.

  38. Teresa Cypher April 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    Hot! :-) I like it. I read down through the comments, and saw what Jess (Schira) wrote. So I went back to reread the first para. The use of these two words “detected” and “spectacles” is, perhaps, what feels awkward. The similarity of the sound almost feels like a redundancy. But, I could be completely off on that thought. Wonderful six, Angela–I went back and reread last week’s to refresh my memory, then let it flow right into this. Like I said, “Hot! :-)

    • Angela Quarles April 29, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

      Thanks! And thanks for helping to isolate the beginning– I think you’ve hit upon it :)

  39. Wildcat's Wife April 29, 2012 at 1:03 pm #

    Passionate. He does not want her to leave, that much is obvious! I was hung up on the word “dratted” — not sure how I feel about that choice. Good six, Angela!

  40. Chantel Rhondeau April 29, 2012 at 1:08 pm #

    I just love this scene and everything that goes along with a kiss like that!! Great job!

  41. Amy Durham April 29, 2012 at 1:22 pm #

    Ah… secrecy! Very intriguing six!
    Amy Durham

  42. Sandra Sookoo April 29, 2012 at 1:24 pm #

    Nice! Wonder who’s after them.

  43. Karen Michelle Nutt April 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm #

    I love time travels.
    The second paragraph drew me in right away. Love it!! I want to know who’s after them now.
    The first paragraph– I had to re-read it a few times. Hmm…something didn’t flow.

    This sounds like a great read.

  44. Lorraine Paton April 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm #

    Woo hoo! They are kissing! I love that she’s surprised him. What a teasing six, though, I want to know what happens next! :)

  45. Karyn Good April 29, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

    I love the mix of irritated politeness and protective instinct! Great six.

  46. Carrie-Anne April 29, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    Very nice six! I wish my possibly soon-to-be ex had been that eager and passionate to kiss me.

    The first sentence seems a little awkward and long-winded. Perhaps it could be broken into two sentences, or reworded slightly?

  47. Karysa Faire April 29, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

    Nice! Of course he’d be surprised. 😉 Guess what I’m reading today??????

  48. Ursula Grey April 29, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

    Excellent six, Angela. Can’t wait to read this!

  49. Monica Enderle Pierce April 29, 2012 at 3:36 pm #

    Um, was that gentlemanly behavior? Does she care? I think not. 😉

  50. Babette James April 29, 2012 at 4:25 pm #

    Finally, a kiss! lol I love his solution to avoid discovery. Fun six!

  51. Elaine Cantrell April 29, 2012 at 5:14 pm #

    I love time travel novels. It seems that he’s trying to save her reputation, maybe?

    • Angela Quarles April 29, 2012 at 6:19 pm #

      Yep, though his too, as he was snooping around where he wasn’t supposed to be. This gives them a ‘reason’ to be there…

  52. Kylie Scott April 29, 2012 at 5:18 pm #

    Man, I love dratted. Such a cool word! And that is a VERY nice kiss. Your voice is wonderful, Angela. Just saying.

  53. Jalisa Blackman (@J_M_Blackman) April 29, 2012 at 5:28 pm #

    I love how intense these stolen moments are throughout BREECHES; it makes the tension that much more taut. You weave a wonderful set of tales.

  54. Jennifer Lowery April 29, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    Wonderful six as always!

  55. Jean Marie Ward April 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm #

    I love how deep the POV is and how distinct his inner voice is from your heroine.

  56. Tonya Burrows April 29, 2012 at 8:54 pm #

    Okay, I’m trying to turn the page on my computer screen to see what happens next and it’s not working. Drat!

  57. siobhanmuir April 29, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

    Woo! Hot stuff, Angela. What a fun six. And I suspect she’s enjoying it as much as he is. :)

  58. Cera duBois April 29, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

    Wonderful 6…Love your deep POV. Good luck on the queries!!!

  59. Sandra Bunino (@SandraBunino) April 29, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

    I do love kisses by necessity! They always turn into more. Super six!

  60. Heather Boyd April 30, 2012 at 12:09 am #

    Fantastic six! Great excuse for a kiss. Love it!

  61. Zee Monodee April 30, 2012 at 1:14 am #

    Ooooh! Now this is exciting…! Great job, girl!

  62. sarahballance April 30, 2012 at 6:50 am #

    Oh, my, it’s getting toasty warm in here! I love this turn of events!

  63. Ginger Simpson April 30, 2012 at 9:13 am #

    Angela, Enjoyed your six again. What a wonderful idea he had to hide their identities. Whether it works or not…I like his thinking. :)

  64. Mae Clair April 30, 2012 at 8:31 pm #

    Thoroughly sexy and hot. Things are really heating up now. Can’t wait to see where you lead them from here!


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