Six Sentence Sunday – 2/19/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively titled MUST LOVE BREECHES. Today is also in the thick of Mardi Gras here in Mobile, so I will try to make the rounds this morning, but might not be able to return comments until after Fat Tuesday :)

Here’s my new pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies.  (You can see the other entries here.)

I thought I’d pick up exactly where I left off last week, when Isabelle’s friend said a guy was a “breech-ripper.” Seeing the comments, it made me realize I needed to have her react to the term, so here’s my next six:

Isabelle choked on her drink—they’d just been discussing their favorite ‘bodice ripper’ romances. She’d  discovered they shared a mutual obsession with guys in period clothes, which had helped propel her through the early stages of the party. Since this was the first time they’d hung out, she treated this moment delicately, afraid to puncture the mood. To have another friend in London would be wonderful.

A sharp elbow in her side caused her drink to flirt with the rim of her glass. “Look sharp,” Anna said, her voice low with just a dollop of teasing, “here comes Andrew.”

Does this work? As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Another participant writing time travel is Gayle Ramage.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Sunday!

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51 Comments

  1. I didn’t read last week’s 6, but your snippet had me chuckling and wanting more!

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  2. Yes, it totally works. Very cute! :)

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  3. Jennifer Lowery~Author

     /  February 19, 2012

    Yes, it works!! Can’t wait to meet Andrew :) Love your six.

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  4. Ooo, Andrew! This sounds promising.

    Happy Mardi Gras!

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  5. Crisp writing. I like it.

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  6. It works perfectly with last weeks six – which I’m still laughing about!

    Great job, Angela!

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  7. I think it works wonderfully! Definitely had me chuckling as well. And now I’m intrigued to find out who Andrew is.

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  8. LOL Well at least she’s found a friend who shares her passion. :)

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  9. Happy Mardi Gras! Unfortunately it’s just another Sunday here in the northeast.

    I loved her drink flirting with the rim of the glass – very nice visual.

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  10. Lovely. I especially enjoyed how you slipped in how lonely she is. One minor point: you repeat “sharp” in that last section – sharp elbow and look sharp. Very evocative six.

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  11. Great reaction :)
    We have a long weekend up here but nothing as fun as Mardi Gras! Have fun :)

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  12. Very relatable event, new girl in town trying to fit in and to meet new boys. :)

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  13. And just who does NOT have an obsession with men in period clothes? LOL This sounds like my kind of party. :) Great six! Loved “caused her drink to flirt with the rim of her glass.”

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  14. Hi Angela! So glad you picked up where you left off last Sunday. I adore this: “caused her drink to flirt with the rim of her glass”. Excellent phrasing. I can tell this is going to be such a cute, romantic story. Great six, and have fun at Mardi Gras! (Lucky girl :D)

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  15. I love that phrase, “flirting with the rim of her glass.” It’s clever and fits the mood!

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  16. D'Ann Linscott-Dunham

     /  February 19, 2012

    Oh, great! I wanna read this whole book!

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  17. Skye Warren

     /  February 19, 2012

    Very cute. Like the wordplay – dollop of teasing :)

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  18. a friend is always nice!! flirt with the rim and a dollop of teasing, I love it!! such fun

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  19. Monica Enderle Pierce

     /  February 19, 2012

    I love how you’re setting up Isabelle (and the reader) for her upcoming time travel. Very simple, but skillfully done.

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  20. Fantastic six… makes me want to read more!!!

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  21. Mardi Gras already? how time flies – yes I loved the glass line too and love the whole story line

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  22. “caused her drink to flirt with the rim of her glass” – gorgeous line :-)

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  23. Fun scene! Wonderful description, and love her reaction, tee hee

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  24. I’m another one who loves the line “caused her drink to flirt with the rim of her glass” – it fits the romantic theme very well :) Happy Mardi Gras! I used to love parades when I was a kid (I live outside New Orleans) but hardly go to them anymore.

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  25. Love it. I take it she’s visiting London in our own time, before the time travel?

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  26. Friends make everything better, and I loved the drink flirting with the rim of her glass. Great six!

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  27. It works perfectly, Angela. Amusing and absorbing six!

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  28. Perfect. I loved the drink flirting with the rim. Quite original, I must say. Mind if I use it? *lol*

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  29. I feel like it works perfectly. You’ve got great imagery, wording and “mood-creation” here. I think you’ve created a very realistic scene. Great six, Angela.

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  30. Excellent use of several senses to put us in the scene–and inspire a desire to see more of Andrew!

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  31. Happy Mardi Gras! Fantastic six, I love a good time travel story.

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  32. It works great. I love that you included her reaction to the ‘breech-ripper’ term. :)

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  33. I loved it. I liked the “bodice ripper” line. :)

    Great six,
    Michelle :)

    http://www.michelle-pickett.com

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  34. A sharp elbow in her side caused her drink to flirt with the rim of her glass.

    Love this image! And I like the tagline, too. This book sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun to read.

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  35. I think this was the perfect way to post this week, after so many writers’ reactions last week. I really like the banter between the two.

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  36. I love how she chokes on her drink! I enjoyed this – great job!

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  37. Yep, that works.

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  38. I think so! I like her fear of “puncturing” the mood. Nice verb.

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  39. Funny moment at a party, and nothing bonds like laughter. Anna sounds fun to hang out with… not bad for a fictional person.

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  40. Great 6. I thought it worked. I really liked the flirt with the rim of her glass.

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  41. Love this: A sharp elbow in her side caused her drink to flirt with the rim of her glass. “Look sharp,” Anna said, her voice low with just a dollop of teasing, “here comes Andrew.” It’s a great visual, nicely jarring her out of her mental wandering and I absolutely love the word ‘dollop.’ I think it ties in very nicely with last week’s, and makes the breeches-ripper statement work.

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  42. This six does paint a fantastic visual. Very well done! Anna’s lighthearted personality makes her a fun read :)

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  43. I works for me!

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  44. Ditto to what everyone else said. This is such a fun story. :-)

    (Sorry I’m a little late to the Sunday party, but I was at PantheaCon until this morning–wish I could be where you are, though!)

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  45. What Sadie Hart said.

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  46. Definitely works! Fab six as always (and cheers for the mention!) :-D

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