Six Sentence Sunday – 4/22/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP titled MUST LOVE BREECHES, which is now out in query land! (You can see the other entries here.)

I am currently looking for Beta readers. If you’re interested, let me know. I’ve stopped querying to see how this batch takes and so this new round of Beta reading will be to help me tighten up what problems will have come to light.

Here’s my pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies. 

Y’all have been so patient as you read through snippets of her meeting Charles Babbage, scenes with Ada, etc., that I thought I’d bring us back to a scene with His Hunkiness. This is the midpoint of the novel, right after she’s caught him sneaking around in a room at a ball. Oh, and she’s on top of him on the floor because she’d been surprised by him and tackled him to the floor before she realized who it was (this is in his POV):

What the devil had prompted her to seek him out in this way? Had she really managed to pull him to the ground? Rather irritated with himself, Phineas glared at his supposed intended and became acutely aware of their position; specifically and suggestively their position in relation to each other.

Their labored breathing comingled, sending shivers through his body. If he had been tempted by her close proximity during previous encounters, this eclipsed those. His heart beat faster as her heat and scent settled over him.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! 

65 Replies to “Six Sentence Sunday – 4/22/12”

  1. LOVE this part: “[He] became acutely aware of their position; specifically and suggestively their position in relation to each other.”

    It’s such a masculine way of thinking about a situation — you nailed the voice. 🙂

  2. Oh, man! Did I know his name was Phineas before?? Because, I didn’t remember that, and it instantly brought to mind Amanda Quick (whom I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE) and her heroes. Thoroughly enjoying this story. Great six!

  3. A proper lord…but so hot! Love this excerpt and love the story line. Wish I had the time to beta read for you. I want to read this story bad. I’ll definitely get the book when it’s out.

  4. Your sixes are always so wonderful and leave me wanting more. And there’s nothing hotter than a very proper gentleman who oozes magnatisim. Fantastic six!

  5. Terrific voice, Angela. His astonishment, his irritation with himself, and his rather inappropriate (for the period) growing lust came through masterfully!

  6. Hmm.. did she tackle him from the front? Just trying to visualize how she broungt mim dowh in a suggestive posture with her on top unless he was backing away when she tackled him. Can’t help being a physicist, and mass does come into these things.

    1. he grabbed her from behind, she threw her drink in his face, and when he jerked, she buckled her knees as if off-balance. She then used his forward momentum to allow his weight to bring them forward toward the ground, with her landing on top of him, her back to his front. After she figures out who it is, she turns around and starts asking him questions… This is all prior to the above snippet. She knows Hop Gar style Kung Fu.

      The trick in Kung fu is to use the weight of your opponent against them.

  7. The attraction, the tension and the description of her heat and scent settling over him– perfect! Great six to draw a reader in.

  8. Well, he’s just going to have to kiss her then, isn’t he? Love this story. I come back every week (either as me or as Claire) to read more. Wish I had time to beta for you, because I’d volunteer, but right now, I just don’t, alas.

  9. Very impressive writing. Having not read your other entries and not knowing anything about, well, anything, did not seem to matter. In your six you got across a character I really knew nothing about (I read the six before the set-up/back story part). Well done and well written.

  10. This has a kind of distanced, ‘well, yeah, this is awkward’ feeling to it. Yes. Most improper.

    It continues to intrigue… well, I’m a sucker for time travel.

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