Six Sentence Sunday – 3/11/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively titled MUST LOVE BREECHES.

Here’s my new pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies.  (You can see the other entries here.)

This is from Isabelle’s POV, and she and Lord Montagu are in a curricle (a type of carriage) heading to Hyde Park. She’s only been back in time for two days and he’s just called on her to ask her to go on this ride with him. This picks up one sentence after last week’s:

Isabelle’s exposed position in the high seat of Lord Montagu’s curricle caused her to inwardly squirm. Surely one of them would point and whisper—interloper, faker. She was probably even sitting wrong. Though it was cool to find out what it was like to ride in one of these, the equivalent of a modern-day sports car… Kind of thrilling, too, but, Lordy Pete, she was glad when he slowed down from the fast clip he’d been maintaining.

She could no longer deny her physical reaction to him, not when sitting this close.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Other participants writing time travel: Sharon Cullen and Ginger Simpson

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Sunday!

59 Replies to “Six Sentence Sunday – 3/11/12”

  1. Her self-doubts and admission of attraction draw us in. She’s admitting to being under his emotional power, not just his physical control on this journey through time. Very powerful. 🙂

  2. I love this story – probably sitting wrong lol – She’s getting a bit paranoid so will be interesting to see how the feeling plays out

  3. I really enjoyed your description of her experience of the curricle, but the last line jarred me out of the story. I think a transition sentence is needed between them. The first paragraph is her experience, but the last line her attention has shifted. Perhaps a line of “She glanced at lord Montagu and excitement rushed through her.” or something, then “She could no longer deny…” because the description is of her physical reaction to the ride, not the man in the previous paragraph. 🙂

  4. Love her awareness that she doesn’t quite fit in and the fear that she’ll be discovered. Fascinating and fun!

    And, congrats on your great contest news this week!

  5. I really enjoyed this! Seems part of the attraction is the ride, LOL! I love her insecurity here – it really makes it easy for me to relate to her experience. I think Siobhan’s suggestion will make for fantastic flow, too. ;c)

  6. Great six, Angela! I love the references to the modern – the sports car, her insertion of “Lordy Pete.” Someone mentioned the need for a transition before that last sentence. I agree, and you could even relate it to the “fast clip” he’d been maintaining. Something about the fast clip of her heart, you know the drill.

  7. Superb insight into what it would feel like adjusting to life in another time. She’s an entirely credible and likable heroine, and the scene’s set up for their…developing relationship (?) works well.

  8. I love Isabelle, though I’m a little jealous of her getting a ride in the curricle. What I wouldn’t give to be in her place…riding next to a handsome lord in a carriage. I love how you build her stress at trying to act right in a completely different time period. I’d be an epic fail in another time. xD Fun six!

  9. Love the last line — like an afterthought.

    And the notion that she could be sitting wrong is hilarious. Such a hapless modern-girl thing to think.

  10. He sounds like a very distracting driver. I can’t picture a curricle, but it sounds like a two-seater if she’s sitting next to him. It may just be me, but in her situation I would wonder if (like a sports car, but maybe for different reasons) it would be hard to get in and out of them gracefully. Fun six!

  11. Lovely stuff, Angela! I also agree that the comparison to a modern sports car makes it easier to picture, although for a moment it jarred me–was it engine-powered? No, of course it can’t be. I’m sure in subsequent (or previous, maybe) sentences you’ve made that clear. Great insight to her character, though. I’m curious: who are the “they” she thinks will single her out as an interloper? The people on the street?

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