Six Sentence Sunday – 1/29/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively titled Must Love Breeches.

Here’s my new pitch/logline: When a modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies.  (You can see the other entries here.)

Here we meet Lady Byron (Lord Byron‘s widow) and it’s just been announced that Lord Montagu has arrived to visit. Ada is her daughter (the future Ada Lovelace). The heroine (whose POV we are in) has had it with Lady Byron’s passive aggressiveness:

Lady Byron continued, “So kind of [Lord Montagu] to be solicitous, but then he should be since I am a close relation after all and one cannot be too solicitous when it comes to family. Is that not so, Ada? No, not at all.”

Good Lord. She wished Lady Byron’s embroidery needle would slip out of her fingers, whip around and stab the back of her hand. The woman was unbearable.

I want to thank all the commenters last week who helped me get my six sentences into a good rhythm. The comments were extremely helpful and enlightening and as some said, it was a good lesson in writing. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. And this week’s other time travel snippets are: Ginger Simpson.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Sunday!

Six Sentence Sunday – 1/22/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively title Must Love Breeches. I currently have this out to Beta readers for feedback and hope to be in a position to query for agents by March. Here’s my working query hook for it: Isabelle Rochon has met the man of her dreams. There’s only one problem: he lives in a different century.  (You can see the other entries here.)

I’m going to try something new and share something I just added to see if it flows right. Setup: Lord Montagu, the love interest from the 19th century, has come to call on the heroine (from our present time). This is in her POV. I just revised this bit this past week — the original just had the first and second lines. I thought I’d try to explain what the meaning of the bow seemed like to her and I’m not sure if I have the beats down right.

He executed a neat bow.

A folklorist should document his bows — the man expressed different degrees of meaning with each. Like this one, which seemed to say, “I’d like to jump your bones.” Well, he’d probably phrase it as, “I lust for you.”

Um, yeah, no. Who was she kidding?

I’d love constructive feedback as to whether this flowed smoothly and if it gave you a chuckle? EDIT: The consensus seems to be that the last line kinda fails. Any suggestions on how to reword that so it gets across that she’d just made all that up and read too much into it? Okay, changing last line to:

Um, yeah, no. Probably more like, “Good afternoon.”

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. And this week’s other time travel snippets are: Tarah Scott and Ginger Simpson.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Sunday!

Six Sentence Sunday – 1/15/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP. I currently have this out to Beta readers for feedback and hope to be in a position to query for agents by March. Here’s my working query hook for it: Isabelle Rochon has met the man of her dreams. There’s only one problem: he lives in a different century.  (You can see the other entries here.)

Thought I’d share the moment she transitions to 1834.

The room spun around her, the air, colors and sound muted as if she were inside an abstract watercolor painting. She put out a hand to steady herself. What the —? She shook her head. Nearby stood French doors that led to the balcony. She stumbled to the open doors and leaned against the door jamb.

If you were here last week for my 6, it inspired a post on dorky moments. Share yours!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Here’s another time-travel writer today, Ginger Simpson.

Have a great Sunday!

Six Sentence Sunday – 1/8/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP. I currently have this out to Beta readers for feedback and hope to be in a position to query for agents in the new year. Here’s my working query hook for it: Isabelle Rochon has met the man of her dreams. There’s only one problem: he lives in a different century.  (You can see the other entries here.)

This week I’m going to take a deep breath and share my new opening. I haven’t been happy with my previous one as I think it started with too much action at the sacrifice of character development. So I scrapped it and came up with several new starts. I’ve settled on one and I’ve been revising and revising it all week. I thought I’d post it here to get your honest feedback/critique on it as an opening. Does it hook you?

A reenactment ball was the perfect setting for romance. Or not.

Isabelle fidgeted in her oddly-shaped, but oh-so-accurate dress surrounded by women who’d sacrificed accuracy for sex appeal. It was as if she were a dorky kid again, showing up to dress-up day at school when everyone else had magically decided it was lame.

At least her co-worker Anna had also taken it seriously; like Isabelle, her dress was circa 1834. Better yet, this being the first time they’d hung out, Isabelle discovered they shared a mutual obsession with guys in period clothes — specifically men in tight-fitting breeches — which had helped propel her through the early stages of the party.

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Another poster today doing time-travel, check her out: Ginger Simpson

Have a great Sunday!

Six Sentence Sunday – 1/1/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP. I currently have this out to Beta readers for feedback and hope to be in a position to query for agents in the new year. Here’s my working query hook for it: Isabelle Rochon has met the man of her dreams. There’s only one problem: he lives in a different century. 

From the second chapter, Isabelle Rochon is leaving the reenactment ball with Lord Montagu (Phineas) and Ada Lovelace. He’s baffled by her, and she’s still clueless that she’s traveled back in time. This is from his POV, hence the 19th century-sounding voice. (You can see the other entries here.)

Phineas turned back to Miss Rochon and held out his arm. “We will be happy to escort you to your carriage. It is warm for May, so I trust the short distance should not inconvenience you too much.”

Miss Rochon gave every appearance of mounting a protest. However, she shook her head instead and said something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like, “Whatever, dude.”

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.

Have a great Sunday and Happy New Year!

Six Sentence Sunday – 12/18/11

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP. I currently have this out to Beta readers for feedback and hope to be in a position to query for agents in the new year. Here’s my working query hook for it: Isabelle Rochon has met the man of her dreams. There’s only one problem: he lives in a different century. 

Isabelle, the heroine, is trying to step her new friend, Ada Lovelace, through the events of the previous evening. She needs to convince Ada that she’s from the future. (You can see the other entries here.)

“All right, so we’ve established I’m from America. And this is unusual enough in your life that you would’ve heard of, say, a relative or daughter of a diplomat arriving in your social world. I also didn’t conform to etiquette and wait to be introduced to you. Can you think back to last night and remember anything else I did that struck you as unusual?”

“Besides not being able to understand the majority of your speech?” A smile quirked Ada’s lips.

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Other participants who write time travel are Gayle Ramage, Ryan Derham and Jasmine Aherne.

Have a great Sunday!

Six Sentence Sunday – 12/11/11

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP. I currently have this out to Beta readers for feedback and hope to be in a position to query for agents in the new year. Here’s my working query hook for it: Isabelle Rochon has met the man of her dreams. There’s only one problem: he lives in a different century. 

This is in the first chapter and she’s at a reenactment ball, but everyone’s starting to be a little too into it. She’s just met the hero (this occurs a couple of paragraphs before last week’s six. You can see the other entries here):

My God, what gorgeous hair! His long, black, wavy hair caressed his shirt collar, making her want to rummage her fingers through it, frolic in it, actually.

Like Ada, this guy had gotten into it, too.

And, really, he seemed to be in his element. He’d grown sideburns and his prominent chin had that little indentation she always found sexy. Could she nibble on it?

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Other participants who write time travel are Gayle Ramage, Ryan Derham and Jasmine Aherne.

Have a great Sunday!