What’s your most dorktastic moment? I’ll tell ya some of mine!

Hmm, actually not sure what qualifies…. which to choose? I was thinking about the comments people left on last Sunday’s post, and about how my main character Isabelle’s assessment of her situation seemed to strike a chord with some folks (not in an earth-shattering, clouds-part-and-light-beams-sear-downwards kind of way, but you know, they-could-relate kind of way).

I haven’t had that exact experience she relates, I don’t think (Listen to me! Jeez, I only caught this on the third read that this makes it sound like Isabelle actually exists and related this experience). Anyway, I have a weird memory that glosses over or forgets unpleasant things. But I felt like I’d been there. I know I have definitely dressed up in some awesome Halloween outfits with no thought to sex appeal and been out-gunned at parties with guys not even noticing me. I’ve also taken things really seriously and shown up to events super excited and been let down big time. So I wanted to tap that for her time at the ball. I was also the kid that totally loved school supplies. Still love wandering the aisles of Office Depot.

Anyway, so I thought I’d share some dorky things I’ve done and open the comments for your stories. It’s honestly hard to pick things out because I’m pretty much a geek-dork all the time and it’s hard to look from a stranger’s or friend’s perspective to say “no, THIS was the most dorktastic.” In college my friends called it “pulling an Angie.”

So let’s see what I can remember (arguably some of these might be more geeky than dorky):

Playing dress-up for a really weird reason

I’ve never told anyone this story because I cringe thinking about how utterly dorky this is, but when I was around 8 or 10  or so (God, I hope it wasn’t later than that), I remember that we (the family) went to eat at a Longhorn Steakhouse and I felt like I had to absolutely be in character for it and so I dressed up in my best cowboy outfit a Florida girl could muster and sauntered in with my thumbs hooked in my belt loops. I probably even said “howdy, pardner,” to the waitress, but you know, the glossed-over memory thing. Sigh.

Needing to keep a record of things

In college in the late 80s we had a pretty awesome music scene in Atlanta and Athens. Never told this to anyone either, but I used to keep index cards of every band I saw, with notes, and marked down each time I saw them. I kept them hidden away. Actually, I think it was also of bands I hadn’t seen, too. Kind of like a cheat sheet/flash card kind of thing. Christmas break of my sophomore year, however, my roommate and I sublet our apartment to two punk rock dudes, one of whom was British, and I was so worried they’d find that stash (and how embarrassing that would be) and so I threw them out! I still think about that every once in a while and regret that I did that, as it would be an awesome trip down the ole memory lane.

My first fan girl experience

Had a huge crush on Shaun Cassidy in the late 70s. I had it so bad, I used to use his album cover as a make-shift lap table/plate and eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches off of it while listening to Da-Doo-Run-Run and staring at his dreamy face, etc. Anyway, my love could not be contained and I wrote him to let him know and asking for an autographed photo. I enclosed an autographed photo of myself in exchange. (I still giggle at this, but at the time I was completely serious).

As a side note to this: I was kinda crushed I never got a letter back with photo. Years later when my parents were packing up to move to NYC, my mom called me and said, “Guess what I found! Your letter to Shaun Cassidy!”  Turns out she’d gone out to the mailbox and retrieved it (hey Mom, that was a federal offense), thinking I’d love to see it when I grew up. She didn’t quite get the reaction she’d expected, as I was kinda miffed. I actually never did see it as I was in college in Atlanta at the time. Mom, you still have it?

Body betrayals for that oh-so-wacky fun time

This one is called the Toe Spasm Story by my friends and is kind of a cross-over with Embarrassing Moments In High School.

At my Catholic high school, we had a Sadie Hawkins dance and I’d screwed up the nerve to ask a cute, popular guy I had a crush on. He said yes, much to the shock of my teammates on the volleyball team. I was riding high for a bit until rumors reached me that he really didn’t want to go with me, but with Tiffany (not real name) and so I let him off the hook. I was pretty crushed, but still determined, and so I asked this guy on my track team who was nice. He said yes.

Fast forward to a couple of days later and we’re all at a party at my best friend’s house, and being in Florida, it was also a pool party and she lived on the bay with a dock, etc. So here I am in the pool, testing my flirting skills (I SUCK at flirting) by splashing water at the guy I’d asked (let’s call him Toby). He’s splashing back. There’s some giggling. All going good. Yeah, me! Then my big toe cramps up Big Time. I scramble out of the pool and sit on a deck lounger while my big toe hurts like freakin’ hell. Everyone, and it seemed like friggin’ everyone, gathers around my big toe and watches. As. It. Spasms.

Needless to say, it was all rather embarrassing. After my toe quit making a spectacle of itself, I looked around for Toby and he was nowhere in sight. I wandered outside and who do I see at the end of the dock holding hands with Tiffany’s best friend? Yep, Toby. After all this, that damn dance didn’t even take place.

Anyway, I think I’ll stop there as I’m not really sure that anyone would find this remotely interesting. And these might not even be the dorkiest. I just don’t know.  Looking back I wonder if this is one of the reasons I’ve been single most of my life. I don’t appear to be particularly geeky or dorky on the outside, so when my dork side (get it? Star Wars pun?) appears, it throws a guy off. Not what he was expecting. And the geeky guys are just too dang shy.

Anyway, I know y’all must have some good stories to share!

What’s your most dorktastic moment? And I know I’m conflating dorks and geeks, but I’m kinda both…