Happy Birthday – Free Critique Giveaway

funny pictures - Henry couldn't remember much about his birthday party, but from the taste in his mouth, he was sure he'd had a good time.

Today’s my birthday, and in the spirit of the Hobbits, I’m going to give a birthday present to someone else!

I really don’t know if any of you would want this, but in case you do, here’s what it is: A detailed critique of your first 5 pages.

I’ll look at opening hook, possible weak sentences, instances of telling, ways you can go deeper in POV. I’ll mark that puppy up!

If you’re interested, comment below with your title, genre and a short blurb and I’ll pick one winner.

I’ll take comments until midnight CST June 7!

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20 Comments

  1. I wanted to start off by saying Happy Birthday. I hope you have such a wonderful day.

    Reply
  2. Happy Birthday!

    Reply
  3. tashaseegmiller

     /  May 30, 2012

    Happy Birthday! Mine is called Transcend – Women’s Lit, told from the POV of a woman after she dies.

    Also, I’ve been looking around for hunks who read – you’ve covered so many!

    Reply
  4. jodenton445

     /  May 30, 2012

    Happy birthday! Hope you have an awesome day full of blessings. Thank you for such a wonderful opportunity.

    Reply
  5. Happy birthday, Angela! Just dropped by to extend some well wishes and to tell you what a laugh I got out of the photo you chose. Love it! I don’t have anything needing to be critiqued at present (much to my dismay because I need to get my rear-end in gear) but I wanted to send happy wishes your way!

    That photo cracks me up! :)

    Reply
  6. Happy Birthday!! I hope it is fantastic. Since I have an editor, I’m not going to ask for a critique, but I think this is a great idea!! Fantastic thing for the winner. Have a fabulous birthday!

    Reply
  7. HaPPy*BIRTHdAY!!! 18 THINGS, a contemporary YA with a paranormal twist, is complete at 70,000 words. A younger version of The Bucket List meets The Sixth Sense, it is stand-alone but has series potential. Here’s the short blurb:

    Seventeen-year-old Olga Gay Worontzoff is dead, she just doesn’t know it yet. She thinks her biggest problems are an awful name (after her grandmothers of course) and not going to prom with Conner, her crush since kindergarten. Then Conner is killed in a freak accident and Olga feels responsible for his death.
    Now the sarcastic, nerdy girl who never missed a day of school is lost, unwilling to get out of bed. To help battle depression, her therapist suggests a plan: compile a list of eighteen things to complete the year of her eighteenth birthday.
    But the therapist has a big secret. She’s really a spirit guide and the eighteen things aren’t what Olga thinks, it’s her after-death purification process.

    Reply
  8. Happy birthday, Angela! I can’t choose one of my WsIP so I’ll sit this one out.

    Reply
  9. Happy Birthday. I hope you had a wonderful day.

    Reply
  10. Happy Birthday. I would love a critique – but don’t have the new stuff written yet :D

    Reply
  11. Happy birthday, Angela! Of course, you’re already reading my latest, so ’nuff said.

    Reply
  12. Happy birthday Angela! Hope it was a great one — and what a great idea. I’ll have to try to remember that for next year.

    My WIP, Stopping Bullets, is about a woman who can, yes, stop bullets, among other TKish things. She lives off the grid to avoid becoming an experiment or killed like her father was, but when the Feds find her in NYC, she’s got to make a run for it.

    And yeah, that’s a *working* title!

    Oh, and I’m also on the lookout for hunks who read for ya! ;-)

    Reply
  13. Happy (belated) Birthday! Hope it was a good one. :)

    Mine is a young adult novel called ENCHANTER.

    It’s a hip retelling of Pride & Prejudice with fifteen-year-olds, magic and murder, in a modern-day spinoff of classic quest fantasy.

    Reply
  14. Janet

     /  June 1, 2012

    Happy Birthday! My j’oie de vivre Golden Retriever, Rudy, shares it with you :-) Must be a kindred Alabama spirit – we spent Christmas at Dauphin Island, and I’m sure he didn’t want to come home.
    I’m returning to writing after a long hiatus, and would love any critique. My current work is pretty much adult contemporary. A little like the Breakfast Club for those over 50 — a group of disparate people drawn together by their cargiver experiences, who while trying to improve life for others find some of their own epiphanies.

    Reply
  15. Got one now
    Title An Ordinary Couple

    blurb

    Phoebe Harris, unlucky in love, inclined to play-by-the-rules, librarian by profession, receives an e mail from Madame Eve advising that a blind date has been arranged. She doesn’t know who contacted 1NS on her behalf, and doesn’t care. It’s time she took a risk. It can’t be worse than her previous encounters.

    Haunted by events 112 years ago, Gideon Thomas knows love is not in his future. He cannot bring himself to tell a woman he works in mid-management for the Devil. He’s the one who dispatches souls to his boss. It is a 24/7 job; no holidays, no days off. Lovers would not accept these conditions. And, anyway, they would think his profession unbelievable. On a whim he contacts an exclusive matchmaking service.

    Genre: paranormal, contemporary, romance

    Reply
  16. Penblywydd hapus (that’s happy birthday in Welsh!) xx

    Reply
  17. Happy (belated) Birthday! And thanks for the giveaway!

    Title: Capitoline Hill
    Genre: Urban Fantasy
    Blurb:
    When she left five years ago, Quinn had honestly never thought she’d be moving back to Capitoline Hill, a decidedly not hilly compound in New Jersey that’s home to the Mid-Atlantic Werewolf Pack. Sure, all she’d had was her brother Liam, her terror, and the small sliver of pride she’d barely managed to hold onto, but that had been more than enough to start a new life for herself.

    But now Liam’s gone to live with the humans, and she misses her Pack and the security she used to find with them. It’s time for her to accept that sometimes you have to go home again, no matter what the saying is. And maybe, maybe, it’s also time for her to get over some of those fears that drove her away in the first place. So she signs up to be a Guardian, a protector of the Pack and the Alpha. But when an assignment results in her bringing home a stray, Quinn finds out that everyone, even her Alpha, is afraid of something. And sooner or later, those fears always come back to haunt you.

    Reply
  18. Thanks guys! The winner is Writerlious! I will be sending you an email with instructions. Happy writing everyone!

    Reply
  19. Oh no! I missed your birthday. :( Hope you had a great one! *hugs*

    Reply

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