Six Sentence Sunday – 5/27/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’m eager to share lines from my new short story BEER AND GROPING IN LAS VEGAS. If all goes as planned, I’ll have my polishing done and this will be going out on submission by Tuesday. Wish me luck!

Last week, Riley met his blind date for the night. Fast forward past dinner, and things have gotten serious, fast. They are now in an elevator, and Riley’s told her he wants her in a bad way, but extracts a promise that they be totally honest with each other and asks if she wants this (his hands are holding her face. her response, in her POV):

Tapping a seldom used inner streak of boldness, she moved her head to kiss his palm. She darted her tongue out and traced his life line. His breath hitched. She could swear his rich, brown eyes darkened.

Suddenly she was on him like white plastic on a Stormtrooper, shamelessly pressing against his body, groping and kissing him. He groaned, a good groan, cinched his arms around her waist and spun them until her back hit the wall of the elevator.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! 

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47 Comments

  1. Hi there I came across your site while searching for other writers on wordpress.. Although you only give 6 sentences :( it sounds really good.. I kinda wanna know what happens after the elevator.. maybe we’ll find out a lil more next week *crossing fingers* Also If you get a moment I would love for you to check out my site as well.. comments and feedback would be greatly appreciated! Happy Writing :)

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  2. LOL, love your storm-trooper analogy. Very creative. Good luck with your submissions!

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  3. Love the “inner streak of boldness.” Says a lot in a few words. Thanks for sharing. :)

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  4. “white plastic on a Stormtrooper” LOL!!! That’s an awesome image. Great six.

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  5. I’m one of the lucky ones who got to read the entire story, and this was such a fun couple. I laughed again at the stormtrooper line — they’re so perfect together, these two. :) Fingers crossed for them while their story is on submission!

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  6. Ha! I love the stormtrooper image too. She must truly be all over him. Sounds like a fun story. Good luck with the submissions!

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  7. Gem

     /  May 27, 2012

    No sense in being shy when the moment says not. Really fun visual to start the morning. :)

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  8. That’s some heavy groping. Fun six.

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  9. There are some superb phrases here but it’s the Stormtrooper crack that made me smile. Very nice.

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  10. Here’s hoping her inner boldness gets tapped a lot more often. In fact, I hope she opens up a keg! ;-)

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  11. That’s going to be one steamy elevator by the time they reach their floor! I think he got his answer to “Do you want this?” LOL Great six!

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  12. like white plastic on a Stormtrooper<–you just made this Star Wars junky's day :) Loved the sexy show and no tell. Yum.

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  13. What a way to start the morning! I’m barely out of bed, and read this…
    “Very nice, effective,” she says, panting.

    Good luck with the submission!!!

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  14. Good thing there aren’t handrails in this elevator or…ouch! Great six! I absolutely LOVE the premise, the title, the humor–all fabbo! =D

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  15. Whew! Hot six, Angela! My only suggestion would be for the second sentence – it didn’t read as smooth to me starting with “She.” I was thinking maybe “Her tongue darted out, tracing his lifeline, and his breath hitched.” Just a thought, but overall loved it! :)

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  16. “on him like white plastic on a Stormtrooper.” ROFL! I love your writing, Angela.

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  17. Well, clearly we have mutual interest. :)

    Great six, and it’s fun seeing a cluster from the same story.

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  18. Good scene. keep me posted

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  19. What fun, Angela! I always like to see the lady go after what she wants.

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  20. Wow, she’s not holding back! Loved the stormtrooper reference – very well done six!

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  21. Jessica Subject

     /  May 27, 2012

    “like plastic on a Stormtrooper” LOL Love it! Great six! :)

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  22. The woman knows what she wants and isn’t shy about going after it, LOL. Hot scene!

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  23. Like white on a Stormtrooper? *giggle* Nicely done.

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  24. Hot! Whew…nice six, Angela! I loved this: “…white plastic on a Stormtrooper.” Had me chuckling :-) Good luck on your submission! Hoping the best for you :-)

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  25. I also loved the Stormtrooper analogy. I hope no one walks in on them in the elevator on another floor!

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  26. Haha. Ditto everyone’s comment on the ‘Stormtrooper’ line. Fingers are crossed for ya!

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  27. Wonderful six! Very fun and sassy but emotive!

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  28. I love the “good groan” line myself. There’s something very emotive about that phrase. Great six, Angela!

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  29. Elevators are made for heavy groping! It brings out the risk of getting caught, after all. ;) Good luck on your submission!

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  30. I like a woman who can tap her inner boldness! Great six, Angela!

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  31. I hope nobody else gets on the elevator!

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  32. Monica Enderle Pierce

     /  May 28, 2012

    Now *that’s* passion! I’m glad she decided not to be shy. So much better this way, for all of us. ;)

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  33. Jennifer Lowery

     /  May 28, 2012

    Love the ‘good groan’! Awesome six! Good luck on the submission!

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  34. Love the title! And the elevator make-out session. ;) Good luck on submission!

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  35. Ooh. It’s getting hot in here. ;) Sexy six!

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  36. Hahaha!!! Love the stormtrooper line! Great steamy 6, Angela!

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  37. Ha! I’m with L.J. The Stormtrooper line is lovely. It’s a great smile-inducing nod in the midst of a hot moment, which I always love. Great rhythm here, Angela.

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  38. Wow, good six! I can sense their feelings and am wondering what’ll happen next. You’ve made some bold, vivid descriptions here!

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  39. Such a great, strong voice in this snippet. Loved it.

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  40. Steamy 6! And, brilliant! I love the storm trooper reference. :) And tracing his lifeline with her tongue seems like a symbol – of what, I have no idea – but it is interesting to me. Best of luck with your submitting!

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  41. Wildcat's Wife

     /  May 29, 2012

    I like the opening sentence referring to the fact he’s not usually the aggressor. “seldom used.” So, this time, he tapped into his reservoir!! Nice six!

    Reply
  42. I think she might want it. *grin* Holy WOW, this is hot!

    Reply

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