Six Sentence Sunday – 5/20/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’m eager to share lines from my new short story BEER AND GROPING IN LAS VEGAS.

Riley is about to meet his blind date for the night, we’re in his POV, edited slightly to fit 6 sentences:

At the top, Juan swept back a leafy frond to reveal a granite table surrounded by lush foliage and a stacked stone wall. More torches sat in each corner, lending enough light to see by, but also adding a ton of atmosphere.

[Riley’s] date faced the far wall, light flickering across the dark hair tumbling down her back. Shit, if he were the romantic type, he’d be in hog heaven with this setting. She slowly turned to face him.

His breath caught–Dear God, he was in heaven.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here.

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! 

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43 Responses to Six Sentence Sunday – 5/20/12

  1. Donna Cummings May 20, 2012 at 6:44 am #

    This is delightful (the whole story is — I’ll email you soon!) I loved Riley. And of course your titles make me smile. :)

  2. Jessica Subject May 20, 2012 at 7:24 am #

    Love his reaction! A great six! :)

  3. Lisa Fox May 20, 2012 at 8:01 am #

    Wow, I love his reaction!

  4. Stephanie May 20, 2012 at 8:13 am #

    Something new! Love the instant chemistry on his end. So … where does the groping part come it? 😉

  5. veronicascott May 20, 2012 at 9:03 am #

    Had to smile at his reaction, can’t wait to read more of course. Terrific excerpt!

  6. Paula Martin May 20, 2012 at 9:12 am #

    Great set-up, and I love his reaction.

  7. Carly Fall May 20, 2012 at 9:15 am #

    HA! Riley’s a goner. Nice six!

  8. ellaquinnauthor May 20, 2012 at 9:30 am #

    That was great.

  9. Lorraine Paton May 20, 2012 at 9:32 am #

    Great six! I can picture the scene. Love your title too! :)

  10. Owllady/Marcia May 20, 2012 at 9:56 am #

    Great set-up, and you make everything very clear. Cool excerpt.

  11. Melinda Dozier May 20, 2012 at 9:57 am #

    Face it Juan, you must be a romantic. Love the atmosphere!

  12. Cara Bristol May 20, 2012 at 9:59 am #

    Oh nice.I Iike that he’s in heaven!

  13. Linda Morris (@LMorrisWriter) May 20, 2012 at 10:07 am #

    Aw, I think maybe he is the romantic type. (And love the title.) You have a gift for those.

  14. A.S. Fenichel May 20, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    Now THAT gets your heart pumping. Nice job!

  15. Mae Clair May 20, 2012 at 10:48 am #

    I like getting a glimpse of your new one. Scene setting is great and I love the gut-punch power of the ending!

  16. Writerlious May 20, 2012 at 10:50 am #

    Fun! I love that the title is a Hunter S. Thompson play. I heart HST (and he was from my hometown!) :)

    • Angela Quarles May 20, 2012 at 11:17 am #

      Thanks! This is the only time I’ve come up with a title first before the story… Cool that he’s from your hometown!

  17. Ryan Derham May 20, 2012 at 11:15 am #

    I like his reaction and your description makes the scene real and upbeat.

  18. Elin Gregory May 20, 2012 at 11:56 am #

    Very atmospheric. :) Sounds like he’s happy then. Looking forward to her reaction.

  19. Jalisa Blackman (@J_M_Blackman) May 20, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    Great details, and as your character noticed, great atmosphere. The only thing I wondered was who Juan was. Fantastic title.

  20. Karysa Faire May 20, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

    What a fantastic reaction from a guy. :-)

    I’m going to email you re: Must Love Breeches, btw.

  21. Carrie-Anne May 20, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

    Sounds like the beginning of a great date!

  22. daezarkian May 20, 2012 at 12:45 pm #

    I love the description and the build-up to “the turn”. Nicely done!

  23. Sadie Hart May 20, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

    Eee, loved this story. His reaction to first seeing her was priceless. I hope you’re going to share more, they have such a fun relationship. A lot of laugh out loud moments!

    • Angela Quarles May 20, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

      😀 Thanks Sadie! You definitely helped me tighten up this story :) I’ll be sharing snippets for a couple more weeks at least. Until I have something to share from my new steampunk one I’m in the middle of writing

  24. S. J. Maylee May 20, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    The turn with a beautiful set-up, excellent 6. I knew I was going to miss the breeches, but this was awesome :)

  25. Sue May 20, 2012 at 1:24 pm #

    Yes that is a great scene 😀 will you be submitting this?

  26. Monica Enderle Pierce May 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm #

    Well, that’s a good start to the date! 😀 (Let’s hope she doesn’t sound like a mule or a fool when she opens her mouth. And, more importantly, let’s hope the same for him!)

  27. Sarah W May 20, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

    I don’t think this blind date is going to be a bland date . . . :)

  28. Cate Masters May 20, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    He’s in deep already! Absolutely love that title.

  29. Corinne Davies May 20, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    I love it! Great six :)

  30. Teresa Cypher May 20, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    Nice six! That last line is perfect! :-)

  31. Gem May 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    He’s in heaven, but is it “hog-heaven” ? Guess he’ll find out. Hope he gets to keep his first response reaction.

  32. Kate May 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    I love it!

    One suggestion: “…lending enough light to see by, but also adding a ton of atmosphere.” Maybe change the “but” to an “and.”

  33. Kate Meader (@KittyMeader) May 20, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    Yes, that’s a lovely reaction from him. Very romantic!
    Unrelated, but do you really have 27K words done on a WIP started less than a week ago? That’s blowing my mind right there!

    • Angela Quarles May 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

      It’s true! I enrolled in Candace Havens fast draft class on Monday and committed to write 15 pp a day! It’s blowing my mind too. I’ve been averaging 1200 to 1800 words an hour

  34. Jess Schira May 20, 2012 at 4:22 pm #

    Great opening for a new story, and fantastic title. Good luck with your writing class.

  35. Kylie Scott May 20, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    Gorgeous 6 Angela! You really set the scene for us. Love it. And his reaction… this is going to be very interesting.

  36. Zee Monodee May 21, 2012 at 12:45 am #

    Lol! The poor man has it bad! :)

  37. sueannbowlingauthor May 21, 2012 at 1:59 am #

    Souds like he figures he really lucked out on this blind date.

  38. Catherine Johnson May 21, 2012 at 5:34 am #

    You set the scene beautifully, it’s very romantic and yes awesome reaction. Nice one!

  39. mselene May 26, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

    LOVE the last line, I’m looking forward to reading more from you.

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