Six Sentence Sunday – 3/11/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively titled MUST LOVE BREECHES.

Here’s my new pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies.  (You can see the other entries here.)

This is from Isabelle’s POV, and she and Lord Montagu are in a curricle (a type of carriage) heading to Hyde Park. She’s only been back in time for two days and he’s just called on her to ask her to go on this ride with him. This picks up one sentence after last week’s:

Isabelle’s exposed position in the high seat of Lord Montagu’s curricle caused her to inwardly squirm. Surely one of them would point and whisper—interloper, faker. She was probably even sitting wrong. Though it was cool to find out what it was like to ride in one of these, the equivalent of a modern-day sports car… Kind of thrilling, too, but, Lordy Pete, she was glad when he slowed down from the fast clip he’d been maintaining.

She could no longer deny her physical reaction to him, not when sitting this close.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Other participants writing time travel: Sharon Cullen and Ginger Simpson

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Sunday!

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59 Responses to Six Sentence Sunday – 3/11/12

  1. Kate Warren March 11, 2012 at 6:35 am #

    I like it. Needs more Montagu though. Afraid that’s as constructive as I can be at this hour without caffeine. :)

  2. Lisa Fox March 11, 2012 at 7:27 am #

    Sounds very fun! Especially all that closeness!

  3. Stephanie March 11, 2012 at 8:33 am #

    Great job setting up tension–both from her setting AND the man next to her. And congrats on all your success this past week!

    • angela quarles March 11, 2012 at 8:38 am #

      Thank you! Am bracing myself, though, as the statistics aren’t with me on this…

  4. Jennifer Lowery March 11, 2012 at 8:34 am #

    Love the new pitch, Angela!! I’m terrible at those—yours rocks and so does your six! Sounds like a really fun story with a fun title :)

  5. Gemma Parkes March 11, 2012 at 8:36 am #

    I hope she doesn’t deny it! cute six

  6. Gem Sivad March 11, 2012 at 8:45 am #

    What an exciting adventure to drop into 1834 and get to ride in a racing curricle with a hunky Lord. Awesome set up in this six!

  7. Wendy S. Russo March 11, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    Very nice six. :)

  8. Jennifer Comeaux March 11, 2012 at 9:50 am #

    I love reading all your sixes. Am looking forward to the day I can read the full published story! :)

  9. Chantel Rhondeau March 11, 2012 at 10:06 am #

    Nice job, Angela. Love this setting and Isabelle’s nervousness!

  10. Paula Martin March 11, 2012 at 10:58 am #

    Great six! I love her doubts about whether she’s sitting correctly!

  11. Cara Bristol March 11, 2012 at 11:08 am #

    Fun six. Fun to imagine what that going back in time would be like — not so fun to experience it for real.

  12. Tracie Banister (@traciebanister) March 11, 2012 at 11:09 am #

    Fun! I just started writing a Regency novel myself. MUST LOVE BREECHES has got to be one of the best titles I’ve ever heard – love it! And I can’t wait to read more about Isabelle and Montagu!

  13. A.K. Morgen March 11, 2012 at 11:10 am #

    I love the new pitch, and her comparison of the curricle to a sports car.

  14. Joanne Stewart March 11, 2012 at 11:11 am #

    Oh I love that last line. Such a contrast from the previous paragraph. Packs a lot of punch!

  15. Sarah W March 11, 2012 at 11:16 am #

    I like, “when her true home lies.” And I’m really enjoying your sixes!

  16. Janey Falls March 11, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    The pitch is a great read – and fun too – I would buy this book. Can’t wait to read more about Isabelle!

  17. Candice Bundy March 11, 2012 at 11:35 am #

    Her self-doubts and admission of attraction draw us in. She’s admitting to being under his emotional power, not just his physical control on this journey through time. Very powerful. :)

  18. Zee Monodee March 11, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    Lol, I love seeing characters comparind eras, which is half the fun of tiem travel :) Good job here

  19. sue March 11, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    I love this story – probably sitting wrong lol – She’s getting a bit paranoid so will be interesting to see how the feeling plays out

  20. sueannbowlingauthor March 11, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    My only question is whether a lord of that period would invite a lady he considered respectable for a carriage ride after only 2 days’ acquaintance.

  21. Babette James March 11, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Nice six and I like the pitch. :)

  22. Cindy Dwyer March 11, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    I love how you capture her insecurity of feeling like everyone must be able to tell she doesn’t belong.

  23. DeAnna Felthauser March 11, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Fun six! I liked her comparison of the curricle and a sports car. Her nervousness was believable, I know I would sure be nervous in that situation lol!

  24. Ranae Rose March 11, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

    Sounds like things are heating up in the curricle. :)

  25. K.E. Saxon March 11, 2012 at 1:12 pm #

    I so enjoy this imaginative time travel story you’re weaving for us! Great six (as usual!)

  26. Sandra Sookoo March 11, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    This sounds like a fun read :-)

  27. Sabrina Garie March 11, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

    Great six. I am really enjoying getting to know Lord Montagu on Sundays. Sexy dude.

  28. Siobhan Muir March 11, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

    I really enjoyed your description of her experience of the curricle, but the last line jarred me out of the story. I think a transition sentence is needed between them. The first paragraph is her experience, but the last line her attention has shifted. Perhaps a line of “She glanced at lord Montagu and excitement rushed through her.” or something, then “She could no longer deny…” because the description is of her physical reaction to the ride, not the man in the previous paragraph. :)

  29. Carrie-Anne March 11, 2012 at 2:17 pm #

    Fun six. I can picture the scene and Isabelle’s nervousness.

  30. Monica Enderle Pierce March 11, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    Love her awareness that she doesn’t quite fit in and the fear that she’ll be discovered. Fascinating and fun!

    And, congrats on your great contest news this week!

  31. sarahballance March 11, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    I really enjoyed this! Seems part of the attraction is the ride, LOL! I love her insecurity here – it really makes it easy for me to relate to her experience. I think Siobhan’s suggestion will make for fantastic flow, too. ;c)

  32. laurakayeauthorye March 11, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

    Fun six!

  33. veronicascott March 11, 2012 at 2:44 pm #

    I’m really enjoying this, total wish fulfillment because I’d LOVE to try this very time travel trip! Terrific excerpt!

  34. Kate Meader March 11, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    Great six, Angela! I love the references to the modern – the sports car, her insertion of “Lordy Pete.” Someone mentioned the need for a transition before that last sentence. I agree, and you could even relate it to the “fast clip” he’d been maintaining. Something about the fast clip of her heart, you know the drill.

  35. Ryan March 11, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

    Superb insight into what it would feel like adjusting to life in another time. She’s an entirely credible and likable heroine, and the scene’s set up for their…developing relationship (?) works well.

  36. Joya Fields March 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm #

    Isabella sounds like a fun and interesting gal. Great job giving us some deep POV! Thanks for sharing. :)

  37. Debra S. March 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm #

    Nice Six. I love time-travels.

  38. Sadie Hart March 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

    I love Isabelle, though I’m a little jealous of her getting a ride in the curricle. What I wouldn’t give to be in her place…riding next to a handsome lord in a carriage. I love how you build her stress at trying to act right in a completely different time period. I’d be an epic fail in another time. xD Fun six!

  39. elaine cantrell March 11, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

    Time travels are so fun! Great six.

  40. J. M. Blackman March 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    Moving to the last sentence seemed abrupt, but the tone is realistic and I love the car comparison.

  41. Sharon Cullen March 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm #

    I love time-travels! Excellent six!!

  42. Ruthie March 11, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

    Love the last line — like an afterthought.

    And the notion that she could be sitting wrong is hilarious. Such a hapless modern-girl thing to think.

  43. Lynne Murray March 11, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

    He sounds like a very distracting driver. I can’t picture a curricle, but it sounds like a two-seater if she’s sitting next to him. It may just be me, but in her situation I would wonder if (like a sports car, but maybe for different reasons) it would be hard to get in and out of them gracefully. Fun six!

  44. Donna Cummings March 11, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

    This is so fun. I would buy it for the title alone. :) Great pitch too! I’m looking forward to reading more.

  45. Amy Durham March 11, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

    I just love the vibe of this… so funny and yet so endearing! I really enjoy experiencing it through here “eyes”!

  46. Cera duBois March 11, 2012 at 8:16 pm #

    Great Six, Angela!

  47. Ginger Simpson March 11, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    I’m enjoying my weekly visits, and this week was no exception. Great job.

  48. Cherie Marks March 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

    I like her modern perspective. Great six!

  49. Steven Montano March 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

    Nicely done, as ever. Great six!

  50. Karla March 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm #

    Great six, Angela! You put me right there in the moment–and the curricle. :)

  51. Heather Boyd March 12, 2012 at 12:37 am #

    Nice snippet. The truly scary looking carriages were the high perch phaetons. There’s not much between you and the ground. It’s the 19c sportscar. Lol

    • angela quarles March 12, 2012 at 7:50 am #

      Yep, I figured Lord M wasn’t the kind of guy to drive a high-perch phaeton, though….

  52. pippajay March 12, 2012 at 5:34 am #

    The comparison to the modern car makes it easier to visualize, and reminds you that she’s out of her own time.

  53. Guilie March 14, 2012 at 10:49 am #

    Lovely stuff, Angela! I also agree that the comparison to a modern sports car makes it easier to picture, although for a moment it jarred me–was it engine-powered? No, of course it can’t be. I’m sure in subsequent (or previous, maybe) sentences you’ve made that clear. Great insight to her character, though. I’m curious: who are the “they” she thinks will single her out as an interloper? The people on the street?

    • angela quarles March 14, 2012 at 11:04 am #

      Thanks! The ‘they’ is a carryover from the previous paragraph (which was last week’s SSS) which showed lots of folks promenading, bystanders and even fops….

  54. Cindy Carroll March 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm #

    Love it! Love the closeness. Love her feeling like people will think she’s a faker.


  1. Six Sentence Sunday – 3/18/12 « Angela Quarles - March 18, 2012

    […] been enjoying her ride in the curricle with Lord Montagu, I thought I’d pick up exactly where we left off last week. It seems appropriate too, since what he asks her in a bit is the Act One break/turning point. This […]

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