Six Sentence Sunday – 3/11/12

Today is #sixsunday where writers share six sentences from their work. I’ll share a snippet from my time-travel romance WIP tentatively titled MUST LOVE BREECHES.

Here’s my new pitch/logline: When a thoroughly modern girl finds herself stranded in 1834 London, she must find a way home while navigating the pitfalls of London society, resisting her attraction to a hunky lord, and ultimately having to decide when her true home lies.  (You can see the other entries here.)

This is from Isabelle’s POV, and she and Lord Montagu are in a curricle (a type of carriage) heading to Hyde Park. She’s only been back in time for two days and he’s just called on her to ask her to go on this ride with him. This picks up one sentence after last week’s:

Isabelle’s exposed position in the high seat of Lord Montagu’s curricle caused her to inwardly squirm. Surely one of them would point and whisper—interloper, faker. She was probably even sitting wrong. Though it was cool to find out what it was like to ride in one of these, the equivalent of a modern-day sports car… Kind of thrilling, too, but, Lordy Pete, she was glad when he slowed down from the fast clip he’d been maintaining.

She could no longer deny her physical reaction to him, not when sitting this close.

As always I welcome constructive feedback. Thank you!

To see snippets from others who are participating or to sign up yourself, visit here. Other participants writing time travel: Sharon Cullen and Ginger Simpson

Thank you to everyone who comes by and comments each week! Have a great Sunday!

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59 Comments

  1. I like it. Needs more Montagu though. Afraid that’s as constructive as I can be at this hour without caffeine. :)

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  2. Sounds very fun! Especially all that closeness!

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  3. Great job setting up tension–both from her setting AND the man next to her. And congrats on all your success this past week!

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  4. Jennifer Lowery

     /  March 11, 2012

    Love the new pitch, Angela!! I’m terrible at those—yours rocks and so does your six! Sounds like a really fun story with a fun title :)

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  5. I hope she doesn’t deny it! cute six

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  6. What an exciting adventure to drop into 1834 and get to ride in a racing curricle with a hunky Lord. Awesome set up in this six!

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  7. Very nice six. :)

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  8. I love reading all your sixes. Am looking forward to the day I can read the full published story! :)

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  9. Nice job, Angela. Love this setting and Isabelle’s nervousness!

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  10. Great six! I love her doubts about whether she’s sitting correctly!

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  11. Fun six. Fun to imagine what that going back in time would be like — not so fun to experience it for real.

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  12. Fun! I just started writing a Regency novel myself. MUST LOVE BREECHES has got to be one of the best titles I’ve ever heard – love it! And I can’t wait to read more about Isabelle and Montagu!

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  13. I love the new pitch, and her comparison of the curricle to a sports car.

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  14. Oh I love that last line. Such a contrast from the previous paragraph. Packs a lot of punch!

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  15. I like, “when her true home lies.” And I’m really enjoying your sixes!

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  16. The pitch is a great read – and fun too – I would buy this book. Can’t wait to read more about Isabelle!

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  17. Her self-doubts and admission of attraction draw us in. She’s admitting to being under his emotional power, not just his physical control on this journey through time. Very powerful. :)

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  18. Lol, I love seeing characters comparind eras, which is half the fun of tiem travel :) Good job here

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  19. I love this story – probably sitting wrong lol – She’s getting a bit paranoid so will be interesting to see how the feeling plays out

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  20. My only question is whether a lord of that period would invite a lady he considered respectable for a carriage ride after only 2 days’ acquaintance.

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  21. Nice six and I like the pitch. :)

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  22. I love how you capture her insecurity of feeling like everyone must be able to tell she doesn’t belong.

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  23. Fun six! I liked her comparison of the curricle and a sports car. Her nervousness was believable, I know I would sure be nervous in that situation lol!

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  24. Sounds like things are heating up in the curricle. :)

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  25. I so enjoy this imaginative time travel story you’re weaving for us! Great six (as usual!)

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  26. This sounds like a fun read :-)

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  27. Great six. I am really enjoying getting to know Lord Montagu on Sundays. Sexy dude.

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  28. I really enjoyed your description of her experience of the curricle, but the last line jarred me out of the story. I think a transition sentence is needed between them. The first paragraph is her experience, but the last line her attention has shifted. Perhaps a line of “She glanced at lord Montagu and excitement rushed through her.” or something, then “She could no longer deny…” because the description is of her physical reaction to the ride, not the man in the previous paragraph. :)

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  29. Fun six. I can picture the scene and Isabelle’s nervousness.

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  30. Monica Enderle Pierce

     /  March 11, 2012

    Love her awareness that she doesn’t quite fit in and the fear that she’ll be discovered. Fascinating and fun!

    And, congrats on your great contest news this week!

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  31. I really enjoyed this! Seems part of the attraction is the ride, LOL! I love her insecurity here – it really makes it easy for me to relate to her experience. I think Siobhan’s suggestion will make for fantastic flow, too. ;c)

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  32. I’m really enjoying this, total wish fulfillment because I’d LOVE to try this very time travel trip! Terrific excerpt!

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  33. Great six, Angela! I love the references to the modern – the sports car, her insertion of “Lordy Pete.” Someone mentioned the need for a transition before that last sentence. I agree, and you could even relate it to the “fast clip” he’d been maintaining. Something about the fast clip of her heart, you know the drill.

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  34. Superb insight into what it would feel like adjusting to life in another time. She’s an entirely credible and likable heroine, and the scene’s set up for their…developing relationship (?) works well.

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  35. Isabella sounds like a fun and interesting gal. Great job giving us some deep POV! Thanks for sharing. :)

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  36. Nice Six. I love time-travels.

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  37. I love Isabelle, though I’m a little jealous of her getting a ride in the curricle. What I wouldn’t give to be in her place…riding next to a handsome lord in a carriage. I love how you build her stress at trying to act right in a completely different time period. I’d be an epic fail in another time. xD Fun six!

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  38. Time travels are so fun! Great six.

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  39. Moving to the last sentence seemed abrupt, but the tone is realistic and I love the car comparison.

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  40. I love time-travels! Excellent six!!

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  41. Love the last line — like an afterthought.

    And the notion that she could be sitting wrong is hilarious. Such a hapless modern-girl thing to think.

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  42. He sounds like a very distracting driver. I can’t picture a curricle, but it sounds like a two-seater if she’s sitting next to him. It may just be me, but in her situation I would wonder if (like a sports car, but maybe for different reasons) it would be hard to get in and out of them gracefully. Fun six!

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  43. This is so fun. I would buy it for the title alone. :) Great pitch too! I’m looking forward to reading more.

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  44. I just love the vibe of this… so funny and yet so endearing! I really enjoy experiencing it through here “eyes”!

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  45. Great Six, Angela!

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  46. Angela,
    I’m enjoying my weekly visits, and this week was no exception. Great job.

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  47. I like her modern perspective. Great six!

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  48. Nicely done, as ever. Great six!

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  49. Great six, Angela! You put me right there in the moment–and the curricle. :)

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  50. Nice snippet. The truly scary looking carriages were the high perch phaetons. There’s not much between you and the ground. It’s the 19c sportscar. Lol

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  51. The comparison to the modern car makes it easier to visualize, and reminds you that she’s out of her own time.

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  52. Lovely stuff, Angela! I also agree that the comparison to a modern sports car makes it easier to picture, although for a moment it jarred me–was it engine-powered? No, of course it can’t be. I’m sure in subsequent (or previous, maybe) sentences you’ve made that clear. Great insight to her character, though. I’m curious: who are the “they” she thinks will single her out as an interloper? The people on the street?

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    • Thanks! The ‘they’ is a carryover from the previous paragraph (which was last week’s SSS) which showed lots of folks promenading, bystanders and even fops….

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  53. Love it! Love the closeness. Love her feeling like people will think she’s a faker.

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  1. Six Sentence Sunday – 3/18/12 « Angela Quarles

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